I spoke with a young woman the other day who was
offended by my research that shows successful women leaders “temper their
assertiveness’ and, “feminize leadership behaviors”, by bringing into the mix
some stereotypic feminine characteristics like empathy, inclusiveness,
nurturing. She said it was a message that she wouldn’t want to put out there!
Hmmm. “We (think: younger women) don’t want to hear that stuff. We don’t
believe in talking about masculinity and femininity because it has no meaning
anymore.” Really?
What troubled me so much was the vehement reaction
that a woman, early in her career, had about these research findings. And then
I thought more about it and wonder whether this denial is pervasive
throughout those in their late-twenties, early-thirties.
I well remember early in my career trying to make
myself “gender neutral” so I could just be accepted as another professional
along with the guys. But that was in the 80’s. Have we not come further in
accepting that women can be themselves and be successful? Is it really so
shocking that women who have successfully reached the top of their
organizations balance our expectations of them as women and our expectations of
them as a leader by integrating feminine characteristics and effective
leadership characteristics? My early-in-her-career-woman immediately translated
that into the women who are successful have to get men coffee! Really?
Stereotypes create barriers to success for women; that
is true. But some characteristics that are associated with female stereotypes
(think: collaborative-ness, inclusiveness) are valued; they make women AND men
effective leaders. Today’s organizations need those “feminine” behaviors and it
saddens me to think that yet another generation of women who are new in the
workplace wants to diminish them.
